My mother taught me LOGIC.
“Because I said so, that’s why.”
My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”
My mother taught me RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”
My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT…
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”
My mother taught me IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”
My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”
My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS…
“If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen THEN?”
My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”
My mother taught me to THINK AHEAD…
“If you don’t pass your spelling test, you’ll never get a good job.”
My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”
My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE…
“If you’re going kill each other, do it outside – I just finished cleaning!”
My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
“Just wait until we get home.”
My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
“You are going to get it when you get home!”
My mother taught me about STAMINA…
“You’ll sit there ’till all that spinach is finished.”
My mother taught me HUMOUR.
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”
My mother taught me GENETICS.
“You’re just like your father.”
My mother taught me WISDOM.
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”
My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!”
- author unknown
Filed under: OH! Says, OHHHmmm! by My OH! Momma
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